On Forgiveness…
By Cara Chang Mutert
The time is now for resolutions, intentions, healing and moving forward. And while resolutions typically call for self-discipline, self-reflection, and actions that can make our lives better, healthier, and more productive, like most actions with true intention, these choices can extend beyond ourselves to benefit others as well.
Choices on how we move through the world not only affect our own mindset, but also ripple out to those around us. It can improve or harm our own lives, the lives of those we love, as well as extend out to those who we don’t even know. That is Karma. Now a mainstream expression, Karma refers not only to the effect an action has on you personally, but on how it ripples out to affect others.
Most decisions we make have an effect on others, which is why decisions can be so agonizing for many of us. Similarly, it’s why relationships can also be so challenging. When you have a connection to someone, even well-meaning, good intentions can result in conflict.
Forgiveness is said to free us from our suffering. But acknowledging and going through the feelings to help us get to the other side is the hard part. Moving through feelings of hurt, anger, blame, shame, righteousness, pain, sadness, loss, self-doubt, self-flagellation, bitterness, remorse, and regret is usually where we get stuck along the way. These are the shackles that form obstacles to our own freedom.
I don’t know the answer of how to get from Point A to Point B. I only know what I know, based on my own experience. And because every individual’s experience brings a different perspective, it’s important to understand and remember that each of our perceptions is also subjective and unique to ourselves.
What I do know is that forgiveness really involves moving beyond the feelings, either in judgement of yourself or another, and moving forward. By healing the pain in your heart and clearing the repetitive, unproductive and often detrimental thoughts in your mind, it can create space for recovery, growth, and forward movement in your life. This can take time, patience, and compassion toward yourself as well as others in order for this to occur, but it’s energy well-spent.
Most of us have lived through at least one unfortunate event in our lives when life changed in a millisecond. The lesson we learn by experiencing or witnessing these types of great losses is one with which most of us can sadly relate. But it’s a poignant reminder of how precious life is and how each moment we have here on Earth is a blessing.
Remembering why we are here, what feeds our soul and what gives us joy, who we love, and how grateful we are for it all, makes forgiveness a little bit easier. The Karma that results from forgiveness will not only help heal your own pain, but can also ease the suffering of those you love and those in your orbit.
While we can get entangled in the emotions, players and details surrounding any given situation, the freedom of forgiveness revolves around our ability to let go, move on, and live our life to its fullest.
Although not easy, if we can continue a steady, ongoing practice of letting go of what no longer serves us, while still savoring the good memories and what we’ve learned, each of us has the power to move forward into a lighter tomorrow and make the most of the life we have ahead of us.